“People thrive when they are focused on being the best version of themselves”
– Mrs. Weng, my mom
When I was a rising 5th grader, my parents transferred me from a public to a private school. This transition brought about a new 4 exhausting hours of commute everyday on a bus, a train, a ferry and miles of walk to the new school. In addition to this horrendous commute, the new school’s workload was also way beyond what my little tiny brain could handle. I dropped from being the top 1% student to the bottom 10% of my class. I was physically exhausted everyday, and I was also filled with much disappointment in myself.
I always waited till the last second for my mom to sign my daily report card before I stormed out of the house to school. I was too ashamed of myself because my poor performance at school. While I was grinding along and feeling defeated, one early morning, my mom told me that she and my dad had never once compared me with other students with higher ranking. “If you want to compare, compare to yourself. People thrive when they are focused on being the best version of themselves,” said Mrs. Weng. That changed my life!
Reflecting back decades later, I realized mom and dad shared a vision for me that went beyond those rough days. They focused on the strengths and talents they saw in me, believed in me and were my best ever cheerleaders. They led me down this path of a successful transition while walking ahead of me believing in that vision, staying bedside me for the moments of celebration and making their presence known behind me so they could have caught me if their daughter slipped and fell.
How did my early childhood impact me and why did this childhood experience have to do with my coaching practice? In my numerous career paths, I noticed and learned that a lot of people not only compare themselves to others, they also focus on their weaknesses and exhaust themselves by trying to remove such weaknesses. However, they overlook their strengths which are what will carry them through their challenging times. When your child gets an A+ in Biology but a B in Math, do you encourage them to focus on the A+ so this positivity permeates everything he/she does, or do you focus on pointing out the gap between the B and A+? This may not be the perfect example, but I think you get my point.
I got into coaching because I believe you are unique, creative, whole and resourceful, and you have passions and desires in your life. While you can consistently work on and improve your shortcomings, I believe realizing your talents and strengths will get you much further to where you want to be, with a satisfied and joyful heart.
My friends, you may be going through some hard decision and changes right now. Do you have someone who believes in you, can cheer you on, and help you be the best version of yourself? Do you have someone you can lean on as well as getting encouragement from and strategizing with? If you find life is overwhelming now, reach out, and I will walk with you, support and make this journey one of the most amazing things you’ve ever achieved!